What Are You Speaking?

Bible Journaling | Entry #2 | Proverbs 15:4

“Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” – Proverbs 15:4 NLT

This verse. I NEED this verse to dig deep down into my heart and make itself at home there. Do you? I mean, I’ve always taken pride in that my first response to strangers (or even those I know) is to be kind. The second response however? Not so much. And God forbid you are outright rude to me or you have a staring problem! (Cue me taking off my imaginary earrings, pulling my hair back into a ponytail and rolling up my sleeves because now you’ve asked for it!) Okay, maybe I’m not that bad. But you can count on me giving you a dirty look, thinking not nice things about you and possibly mumbling something under my breath. (Cue all the modern day Pharisee’s gasping, clutching their lapels and exiting this blog before any of my “human” rubs off on them.) Yes, I did just admit that I have been short tempered before but let’s not be so quick to cast stones. We all struggle with things, this was my struggle, and accountability is part of the process. Hello?

Moving right along. I can recall being an older child, maybe 7 or 8 years old, and having quiet a temper. But it wasn’t all the time and it wasn’t with everyone. I never spoke out of turn at school or to my school friends – I saved most of it for my parents, my sister and my closest friends. This trend followed me all through middle school, high school and right into married life. Unfortunately, I had never addressed the problem. Had I called it out earlier, maybe I wouldn’t have carried it right into my marriage and let it dictate the first few years of David and I’s relationship. Thankfully (and painfully), I came into a head on collision with it last year and decided enough was enough. Why was I still dealing with this habit that I had when I was a kid? The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:11:

 ^” When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” (KJV)

But when I became a man. When I grew up. When I matured, I put away childish things. You see, when you grow up you aren’t supposed to entertain the same things you did as a child. You aren’t supposed to act the way you did as a child. This did it for me. This was it. This is when I said “enough is enough” and made up in my mind that  I wasn’t going to live this way anymore. I had let anger and frustration hurt relationships that God had given me. That GOD had given me. That’s when it clicked. The people I treated the worst were the ones I was closest to. Why? Wouldn’t you think that those would be the people I would treat the best? Well going back to my original text:

“Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” – Proverbs 15:4 NLT

So if “gentle words” are a tree of life, then what does that make “not so gentle words”? When I was saying mean things to others, and cutting them down just because they made me mad – I was speaking death into our relationship. Death. What is death directly connected to in the Bible? Sin. Who did sin originate with? Satan (though it entered the world through Adam). L I G H T B U L B. 

You see, I was never connecting my anger and short temperedness to anything or anyone other than myself. I always took ownership of it. Like when I would have a spat with someone, my apology would go a little something like this.

“Hey. I’m really sorry for the things I said earlier. I have always been short tempered for as long as I can remember and sometimes it just gets the best of me.”

Ownership. Ownership. Ownership.
What I should have been saying was:

“Hey. I’m really sorry for the things I said earlier. Sometimes, when I let my flesh go unchecked, I speak out of turn and say hurtful things. But I want you to know I appreciate our friendship.”

Ladies, if you can relate to this – listen to me. Stop taking ownership of your sin and struggle. In order for you to own something, you have to pay something for it and beautiful – you didn’t pay for it! Jesus already did and He has NO PLANS of allowing you to buy it back from Him. So you better go ahead and repent and lay that sin at the feet of Jesus and walk away from it. Because God has big plans for you and they don’t include you continuing in your cycle of sin.  And don’t you dare let that stupid Devil continue to trip you up and try to steal those God given relationships in your life! They are there for a reason and unless God tells you to cut ties, then you need to nurture and care for them with “gentle words” like our text says. Speak life today, ladies. To your spouse, your coworkers, your children, your friendships and to the spiritual authority in your life! Oh, I better stop there before I get off on another tangent. That’s another post for another time! 😉

Speak life not death today, beautiful. You got this!

Blessings,